Anxiety and Depression

Wow! I can’t believe this is the first time I am looking at my blog since May! I have to admit that few post ideas popped into my head over the last few months (usually came to me in the shower… as they do) but I just never wrote anything down. I have an excuse reason for this.

I needed time off to come to terms with few things in my life. I am talking about anxiety and depression which I have been dealing with for about a year now. I thought that maybe I needed this summer to stop stressing/worrying about things and start realising everything is going to be ok in the end. However I had to call things by its names and come to terms with the fact that it simply won’t go away on its own.

I have found the below quote somewhere on the internet and I think it describes anxiety and depression very well:

‘It’s being scared and tired at the same time. It’s the fear of failure but no urge to be productive. It’s wanting friends but hate socialising. It’s wanting to be alone but not wanting to be lonely. It’s caring about everything then caring about nothing. It’s feeling everything at once and feeling paralysingly numb. ‘

The reason I decided to write about it on here is because I truly believe that start of my new module SXF206 this October will help me to get myself back on track. Having an important goal with deadlines forces a person to be productive. That’s not to say that doing a degree isn’t scary and that it sometimes has the opposite effect. However it definitely provides me with purpose and lets me focus on a subject that fascinates me and I care about. It helps me to take my mind off of worries, anxiety, bereavement and just everyday life that can be really hard sometimes.

It took me a long time to pluck up the courage to write this post. I hope that maybe people will read it and realise that we all deal with some serious shit in our lives. But doing something positive just for your own self like starting with the OU can actually be a big help in dealing with anxiety and depression. Doing a degree comes with its own worries and pressures like fear of not being smart enough or struggling to find the time. But the most important thing studying with The OU gives me, is a purpose and a feeling that I am learning about something that matters. 

How to survive S104 Exploring Science

Apparently S104 is said to be one of the hardest Open University level one modules. I can certainly see how this might be the case. However I believe that it is also extremely rewarding and surviving it will definitely motivate you for continuing your studies.

I am not a study expert and certainly not a brainiac but there are few bits of advice that I am hoping will help people studying S104. Some of the below are things that I should have done, but didn’t. Hopefully you can learn from my mistakes.

1.       Get ahead and stay ahead.
Oh I am a master of procrastination. I plan and organise but never ever stay ahead of my schedule. What I have learnt about myself is that I work best under pressure and leave things until last minute. Now… you definitely don’t want to do that with this module. You won’t have time for procrastination because you will constantly be under pressure. The best thing to do is start studying as soon as you’ve got your materials, don’t wait until the actual module start date. Try to get yourself ahead and stay ahead. It will give you some time to breathe and if your life ‘happens’ then you will have that bit of extra time to do things other than studying without feeling too much guilt.

2.       Make study cards as you go along.
I made little study cards that I used when preparing for the exam. The mistake I made was that I left it till the end. The best thing to do is making cards after each block. It will seal your knowledge and you will be able to use them when preparing for the exam.

 

 

3.       Have a go at the iCMAs.
I know things often change and get updated at the Open University but when I did S104 the iCMAs were not part of the assessment. I kept having a go at them until I had over 80% on each. They are a great practicing tool, especially when preparing for the exam.

4.       Find most efficient way of taking notes.
I personally did not take any notes just because I wanted to save time. Instead I took four different colours of highlighter and corresponding post-it notes. I assigned a category to each of the colours and bookmarked the blocks with post-its.This off course might not work for you so try a few different ways of taking notes at the beginning of the course and see what method is best for you.

5.      Activities.
Make sure to do the practice questions and activities throughout the module and have a go at them again before the exam. This is essential because you will never truly know if you understand the scientific concepts until you have a go at solving the problems and doing the calculations yourself.

6.       Download advice from your student website.
Do a bit of research on your student website and you will be surprised how much help there is. I found some percentage practice questions that one of the tutors posted, no one from my group even knew this existed! I believe there was also a study calendar that had ‘essential’ and ‘non-essential’ activities written down.

7.       Don’t worry too much.
I know it’s easier said than done but think about the knowledge you will have after finishing this module, not about how hard it is.  S104 covers so many sciences that it is bound you won’t like some of it and you might struggle with some of it. Don’t beat yourself up too much about that, ask your tutor for help. I am sure you will get there in the end. And even if not, then … oh wells! You will be fine even if you don’t understand one subject. I hated geology (booooooring) and could not grasp any of the quantum physics (this stuff is super interesting but a bit mental).

 

Good luck! Remember, if I did it, so can you J

 

Everyday life planning – what planner will work for you?

This may seem like a simple choice but once you start researching, with a massive choice of planners out there you will get overwhelmed. It’s best to do some research first to see what planner will work for you. However you won’t really know what work best for you until you try it. Don’t get discouraged, we are all different and we have different lives with different priorities so what works for me might be simply rubbish for you.

I found few links to different planner videos and websites for you to have a look at:

Simplified planner vs Day designer https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TYo7BRt3VcU&index=2&list=PLmXnvEsseo1S-fyEa8jV9qKyhpLv3L-Rw

Kikki K planners (these are very girly) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B1iYOpGXOHM&index=1&list=PLmXnvEsseo1S-fyEa8jV9qKyhpLv3L-Rw

Plum planner vs Erin Condren https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-k3ziZFHBDQ&index=3&list=PLmXnvEsseo1S-fyEa8jV9qKyhpLv3L-Rw

Uncalendar vs Planner Pad https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dnb-4tlyvnE&index=4&list=PLmXnvEsseo1S-fyEa8jV9qKyhpLv3L-Rw

Filofax http://www.filofax.co.uk/

Paperchase http://www.paperchase.co.uk/stationery/diaries-organisers/organisers

When choosing your planner, an important thing to consider is size because it does matter ;). Questions you need to ask yourself are:

·         Do you want to carry your planner around with you? If yes, choose a smaller personal size, if not then you can go A5 or bigger

·         What will you be using your planner for? If it’s only for one or two categories e.g uni and blogging then you probably won’t need much space. If you want to cram your whole life in there then you will probably need a bigger one

·         Are you a person that likes to jot details down, have your whole week planned out to every detail or are you happy with main appointments, assignment due dates, business trips or child play dates?

·         You might need both! Small one with main appointments and important dates to carry with you (small diary will probably be sufficient there) and a bigger planner to keep at home with all of the details, breakdowns, preparations etc.

Now onto inserts:

·         Will you be happy with generic planner insert or will you want to personalise your planner?

·         How much writing space will you need? There is loads of choices; month, week or day per page.

·         Are you a person that needs things categorised or happy to have everything randomly jotted around the page?

I realise that it may seem like these questions are a bit excessive for choosing a simple planner. But you will understand this once you watch the videos I posted. There is just so much choice out there and it’s all designed to motivate productivity and good organisation.

Overconsumption awareness

I have just finished studying Block 5 of U116 module at The Open University. The book is called ‘Changing China’ and my TMA for this was to write an essay explaining how migration enables economic growth and therefore leads to environmental issues. 

We all know that China is growing economically and the growth is still rapid. Whilst developed countries are looking into newer ways of protecting the environment, Chinese government seems to be still steering the country into even more development having little regard for the environmental damage this is causing. List of China’s environmental problems is long. It includes issues like threats from flooding, desertification, water shortages, disappearing forest reserves, air and water pollution and many more.

Studying this subject made me wonder what are we ‘the individuals’ are really doing to protect our environment. How many people actually lead their lives by putting the environment on top of their priority list? Well, that off course would be unrealistic but if anyone would take a small step towards decreasing consumption, it could have a massive impact. But we don’t. Why? Because it’s inconvenient and because often environmental problems don’t affect us directly. We are so used to the convenience of life that we can’t be bothered to even make a small effort. Everything is so easily replaceable and accessible that we just don’t bother to re-use things.

I don’t have children but many of my friends do and it is shocking how many toys and gadgets the littles ones have. I totally understand that parents want for their children to have everything they need and to have a happy childhood. But do they really need 100 toys when they’re five? Or do they need new mobile phone every 6 months when they’re sixteen? No, they don’t. But our society is powered by money, advertisement and sales. When you become a parent you’re being told you need to buy hundreds of gadgets for your baby and they’re all essential. Then you need to buy hundreds of toys which will stimulate baby’s development. And after that your kid wants hundreds of toys and gadgets because they are bombarded by the advertisements. If you do try to stop this and say ‘no’ then you’re facing a fear of your kid being an outsider because all other kids will have the toy, the phone etc. and you have to cave in because you don’t want them to be the odd one.  

So which way do you think this trend will go? Will we continue to overconsume and not think about what we’re doing to our planet? Or will we wake up, stop this madness and teach the future generations to re-use rather than bin and buy a new one.   

Click here to see ‘Overconsumption, overpopulation – in pictures’.

Who do you want to be when you grow up?

Lately I had a thought. Does anyone ever know exactly who they want to be when they grow up?

I don’t really believe in ‘what’s meant to be, it will be’. I don’t belive in fate, destiny and the whole ‘our lives have already been written for us’. I think there is a lot more complexity to who we become and how our lives turn out. I believe our lives are a combination of random series of events, coincidences and chances; background we come from; family circumstances; choices we make; how hard we work; how intelligent we are and so on.

So how do people know who they want to be and how do they become that person?

What prompted me to think about this was my old friend. Both she and her husband have degrees and work within their degree’s fields. She works in an environmental sector and he is a geologist. They both enjoy their jobs but she recently said to me that if she had to make the choice again she would become a veterinarian and her husband said he would become a chef. She didn’t study veterinary because she was scared to move away from her family for 5 years as it takes 5 years to complete a degree in Poland.

So does anyone know who they want to be at age of 16 when they have to make that first important educational choice? Many young people go to uni and study subjects they don’t really like but feel that they need a degree of some sort. Also many people come from well-educated families and get pressurised to becoming doctors, lawyers etc.

I never knew who I wanted to be. I tried few different jobs and did few college courses. I was just as confused and undecided in my early twenties as I was as a teenager. Finally at age of 28 I have made my choice and I am so happy I decided to start my studies with The Open University. It took me so long to realise that I have always loved science, I have always cared for the environment. I am now finally motivated enough to pursue this path. I feel that any other time in my life I was too young and too confused to make this decision.

I am so grateful that The Open University allows people like me to get higher education without compromising their lifestyle. Hopefully in four years time when I’m all grown up, I will be who I want be.

 

 

 

Everyday life planning – introduction

I am a person that needs planning to stay sane. I also like to write things down on paper. My head is usually full of ideas, things I need to remember to do, random thoughts. It constantly works on full speed. This becomes a problem when I don’t write things down. I randomly remember that it’s someone’s birthday in two weeks’ time and then forget about it the next day. Then I remember about it one day before and panic that I haven’t got time to make/buy them something. It caused me a lot of stress and sleepless nights with added guilt and feeling of failure when I forgot things or wasn’t prepared for things.

Writing things down on paper helped me to free my mind and organise my life. We are all different but I know that there is a lot of people out there stressing about things, forgetting things and running around like headless chickens trying to do everything last minute. I was one of those people and yes, it’s impossible to fully get rid of that attitude if you’re naturally little bit ‘all over the place’. But I guarantee you that planning and organising your life with a simple planner will save you time, stop the stress and will help you sleep better. Also simple ticking the tasks give a sense of achievement and makes me feel that I have been productive and succeeded in managing my time.

There is a lot of different planners and organisers out there and a bit of research will help you pick one that will suit your life style. It took me few months to work out my ‘perfect’ planning routine. In fact I still adjust it as I find out how/when I am most productive. Don’t get discouraged if it doesn’t work out the first time, try different approach, different planner.

If I was to keep going with this post it would turn out extremely long. So I decided to split it into a few posts and make a little planning series out of it. I will share my planner with you, post links to planning videos and ideas and explain what works and doesn’t work for me. Don’t forget that this planning series will apply to anything from work, uni to personal and family life planning. These categories can be separated or combined all in one. As for me, I like to have everything in one place to see an overview of my week/month/year.

‘How to Be a Woman’ by Caitlin Moran - a book that everybody needs to read

Since today is the International Women’s day I thought ‘How to be a woman’ is an appropriate book to mention.

 

Feminism is often misunderstood for hatred towards men. Many people don’t actually realise that it really means advocacy of women's social, political, and economic rights. Many people also don’t realise that women are not treated the same as men even in developed countries like Great Britain or America. Women are often paid less than men, their opinions are often less regarded than those of men, and men are often hired rather than women because it’s more of a manly job. I am not talking about something like mining here, I am talking about office jobs where experience, knowledge and skills should be taken into consideration, not physical capabilities. I myself was discriminated for being a woman. Doing exactly the same job as my male colleague and I was paid less. I was also asked not to wear a skirt to work (I’m talking about professional knee length skirt) because the male colleagues couldn’t focus on doing their job. This was in England, year 2013, particularly sexist work place.

I veered off a bit here but what I wanted to show is that the inequality problem is still here and Caitlin’s book shows us just that in a hilarious way, based on her life. I think all men and women should read this book. Even if you don’t fully agree with her opinions, it will show you different perspective and maybe open up to something you haven’t considered or didn’t realise was issue.

So happy Women's Day! Let's hope that one day women all over the world will have equal rights to men. Let's hope that one day girls won't be refused education, won't be forced in marriage, won't be brutally circumcised. Let's hope that men and women will stand together and become feminists in its true meaning.